When we last left our heroine (that would be me!), she was stranded at the mall with no money, no cell phone, four whiny children, vomit, and a sore foot from kicking the tire of her dead van.
In no time at all, help would arrive (read that as about 2 hours). Meanwhile, back at the van, the kids and I were hard pressed with something to do to keep the highly distractable children (and mom) entertained. After cleaning up the throw up and taking everyone to the bathroom once, we still had about ten minutes shy of eternity till Andy got there. We had devoured the bag of chips and all the drinks, and of course we had cleaned out the van for the field trip so they were not even forgotten toys under the seats for us to round up. We did have a bag of cheesy hull-less popcorn. It took Isaac all of 30 seconds to begin licking them and sticking them together to make sculptures that he attached to the window. That fun had a hint of the forbidden because we have a no licking policy (which could be a blog all it’s own) so that was enjoyed until David went on a Godzilla-esque rampage and destroyed the budding metropolis that was now growing on the windshield.
After Andy showed up, we had a second bathroom run. He took the kids and brought me back a huge Baja Mt. Dew from Taco Bell. I love that stuff. Because he showed up with money, we headed on into the mall for a quick bite. I am sure this is my Mother’s Day right here. We kill time buy walking slow and heading to the indoor playground. Of course, after only about 30 minutes my kids are done playing. This has never happened before. I make them go to the bathroom yet again. It is now close to 7, but we have quite a bit to wait. After getting back to the car and van, we see that Andy has taken out the alternator. He took it to be tested. It was fine. The plus side is that my phone is charged up a bit because he plugged it in while doing his running. He needed the battery tested next, and I begged to drive it over. I got the kids all settled into their seats and David began to scream. His binky was lost at the camp, so now I need to get another one. I head to Toys R Us before taking care of the battery or Andy will go crazy trying to take care of them all while putting in the alternator.
With David binked and the kids all fed, I am sure they will be fine for a bit. Why I am sure, I have no idea. Perhaps I am an eternal optimist. They are really tired of being in the van and it sure shows! They did get little toys of games at Wendy’s, so that should keep them busy for 15 minutes or so. Tops. My mom gets someone to bring the boys home so she can pick up the kids and take them to her house. I am now hearing angels singing the hallelujah chorus as I run to get the battery checked. The battery is the problem and we need a new one. The guy at the auto parts store was quite helpful. He gave me two choices- the gold core or the silver core. I was hoping for a bronze, but no such luck. Speaking of my luck, even after scraping together change from the car, I am still 7 cents short. By the time I head back to get more money from Andy the store will be closed. Mr. Auto Parts tosses it in for me because I made him laugh with my crack about the bronze core.
I arrived with the battery in tow in time to kiss the kids goodbye. It is now 8:50. That is a long time to be sitting here, but we still need to change the battery and get the alternator back in place. In the dark. With a dead flashlight. But hey, we are at the mall. Surely they have one somewhere, right?!? Ten minutes till closing we ran across the parking lot. We dove into the store before they locked the door and ran all over two floors looking for a flashlight. Or batteries for the dead one we have. I found one. Or three. I am done taking chances and am ready to get this over with. I even got one of those shake up flashlights, because with my luck, well, it will come in handy at some point. Problem is they shut down the registers at 9. It is 9:02. A combo of our sad story and the sight of my overtired, dirt encrusted, hungry husband must have pulled heart strings because they opened up a register and allowed us to check out. At this point we are locked into the mall and got some nice down time as we waited for security to escort us out. I looked over at Andy and he looked ready to crawl on the floor and nap. And that is when I realized I told him I would get him something to eat. I said that about 2 hours ago. Ooops!!
As Andy takes off the tire to put the belt on the alternator, I ran back to Taco Bell for food for him. I have been here enough today that I am pretty sure not only a shift change happened, but both shifts have been looking at me weird. It was the closest bathroom. As we sat under the stars eating tacos and drinking more Mt Dew while fixing the van, it feels like a date. Since we never have normal dates, I am totally counting this. There were stars, there was food. No kids. Oh yeah, sounds like a date to me. But Andy was not in a romantic mood and our conversation sounded more like a brain surgeon and his nurse. "Light. Not there, here. Wrench. Burrito. Baja. Light. I said light. Will you stop messing with that shake up things and turn on the flashlight?!?" He told me to point where he was looking, which is kinda hard when he is half under the van in the wheel well. I tired my best, but the humor and sheer relief caught up with me at this point. From here on out I became an exhausted, useless mess of giggles. That lasted the remainder of the evening, and even worsened when we were about to shut the hood and the first person who acted like they noticed we were there stopped to see if we were all right. It was a tow truck driver. Andy cut a glance over at me as I was in a fit of laughter on the ground and said "I’m alright." Seeing it was now after 10, my current behavior could be considered normal under any circumstances, let alone high stress and a lot of sun.
We stopped for gas and were headed home after 7 hours of the parking lot. Almost 8 hours since I began my trek home. And for Mother’s Day this year, I got a new van battery and some food at Wendy’s.
****Actually Angel shopped for me as well as Andy and the other kids, so I ended up with quite a bit of loot. I got flowers, chocolates, jammies that bestow upon me the title "The World’s Greatest Mom", four cards (two from Isaac), and six insect shaped solar lights for the garden that I have been wanting.*****
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