Why I Do What I Do

I have begun to think a lot lately about what I do and why. In so many different senses. Why do we make the choices we make daily? Why do we home school? Why do we go against what everyone else is doing? Why do something when it is hard? The inevitable ‘Why me??’ And, ‘Why do I blog about it?’ I suppose I have been hit with all the "going wrong" that has been happening around here. Things break. People get sick. Children whine. Mothers cry. Dads get angry. Parents can begin to disagree. Money only goes so far. Tempers can flair. That is the way this fallen world works.
I was having a series of unfortunate events. I began to get into a rotten mood. When you are the mother, you are the heart of the home. Your feelings flow to those around you. You need to choose to use that for good and not turn to the dark side. So fitting, because those feelings and reactions are just that. The dark side of life. The underbelly. If you allow those thoughts to control you and lead your heart away from the truths that can be found in God, well, you ARE on your way to the dark side and you are taking your family along for the ride.

Then I began to ponder in my heart the whys of life. Not the bad why is this happening to us whys, but the whys that are deliberate, because there is a flip side to the why me coin. It says why not me. So instead of giving that coin a toss and focusing on all that negative, I began to ask different why me questions. Why are we following this path? Why are we blessed beyond measure? Why do we have less struggles than some?

It is a matter of perspective. Sure, things have been bombing around here lately, but everyday we are warm. Everyday we have clean water. Everyday we have food. We have each other. We have the love of God. What more is there?

And as for that whole why do I blog question, well, I have discovered it is for me. It has been an outlet for years. A way to connect, to reach outside of our home. And to view inside of others. But also, as I was beginning to get discouraged, it was my light, my way back to focusing on the important things in my own life. Seeing where we have come from. How God has provided so far on this journey. And I have begun to laugh at the struggles that seemed daunting, the challenges that the me of yesteryear have faced. And in my heart I looked at that girl and thought- Honey, you ain’t seen nothing yet!!