A Prayer for Thanksgiving

The following was shared with me by my father in law. It is a Thanksgiving prayer from Michael Holt in 1997. And it is fitting for today, for me.

Thank you, God. For the joy, privilege and even the painful responsibility for giving thanks. Some days it is so natural that it seems supernatural; a beautiful sunrise, a beautiful flower, a hug from a grandchild, an answer to a quick prayer or and unexpected provision. Sometimes giving thanks is no problem at all! I feel kissed by God!

But, then there are those other times, those dark times in my life that some days seem to overwhelm me with impenetrable sadness. On those days, Lord, there is no joy in thanksgiving; the privilege in conversing with you, My Heavenly Father, is reduced to a feeble “Help, Lord.”

And yet Lord, your Word says “In everything give thanks, for this is God’s will in Christ Jesus for you.” And it says, “Rejoice” and “Pray constantly.” And I want to, but I can’t. I’m too empty, too needy, too weak, too sad!

And now, it’s “Thanksgiving!” But the encouragement of Your Word, Father, goes deeper than the Pilgrims’ tradition and bears more weight than the government’s mandate to give thanks on some special day in November. Change me Lord into a river of Thanksgiving! And even when it seems the river has run dry, raise up fresh springs so that I cannot help but thank you! Not fake, orchestrated or contrived. Not just an emotional experience, but my mind and my will joining together even when my emotions are not very interested or cooperative.

I choose, like Paul, to glory in weakness. I choose to thank you Lord, not just for blessings and all the wonderful things of life. I choose, Lord, even when Your light seems dim, to lift my weak and trembling heart to say “Thank You Lord!” When I cannot sense your presence, I will thank you. When your Spirit seems far from me, I will thank you. When the sadness chokes me into silence, with my mind I will thank you. And even if I lose my mind, let my last consciousness be of You, O Father, and may whatever be left of me give you praise and thanks forever. When I can’t understand why You allow pain and struggles that seem unbearable, I will thank You Lord! Even if it should seem dark forever, I will thank You, Lord. Because You command me; because You are worthy; because I love you - because I know my life is safe, hidden with Christ in You!

Thank You! Thank You! Thank You!

Leaving a Legacy

Perhaps it has been all the reading I have been doing lately, some on art history, some for fun.  I have been thinking about leaving a legacy.  Obviously, if you are named in a book on history, or have a chapter all to your self, there is a legacy that is well marked that you have left behind.  Perhaps you developed a cure for a serious illness.  Or carried the Gospel to a foreign land.  Or maybe changed the way the world thinks about something through your discovery or led thousands to Christ.  There may be millions of people whose lives you changed for eternity or whose lives now take on a better quality from your work.

More likely than not, you are none of those things.  You are an ordinary person with ordinary dreams and and ordinary life.  I know I am.  I used to think that I could change the world, but had to come to grips with the reality that I will never discover a cure for cancer, preach to a filled stadium, or sing on stage.  I will never be a professional athlete, the CEO of a Fortune 500 company, the President of the Untied States, or the dictator of a foreign country.  I will never climb Mount Everest, swim the English Channel, or fly a plane.  I will never be able to time travel, unlock the mysteries of space, or compose a great symphony.  I am ok with all of that, well, perhaps I still will fantasize about the whole dictator thing, but I am happy where I am.  I never really liked sports anyway, and am not very good at math.   So, where does that leave me?  I will never be mentioned in a history book.  I am not a household name.  I have no great riches, no superpowers, no earthshaking developments in science.

So often we hear inspirational stories, stories of people who are famous, who left a great impact on society or those around them.  I would like to share a story of my own someday, but it is still being written.  You see, my legacy has not been determined by anything I have done, but by something done for me.  I cannot boast great power, prestige, or fame, but I belong to One who can.  My legacy, what I hope to leave my children and the people around me has no monetary value, it is a legacy of faith.  The time spend in ministering to others in the name of Christ, not my own.  The bedtime prayers, morning devotions, and memory verses.  The silliness at Bible Club, wiping noses in the nursery, talking to youth.  My legacy will not lie in the lives of millions, but in the hearts of my children.  I can think of no greater legacy.

And perhaps someday, one of them will do something greater than I.  Or perhaps they will touch the lives of those around them on a small scale.  And ripple by ripple the effect of one heart set afire for God will change the world.

The Gospel According to Isaac

This is as close to word for word as I can get.  Tonight at bedtime we read the Bible together as usual.  I am always worried about Isaac listening because he seems to be doing anything but listening.  He has a prayer list though, and he has been praying for several people to come to know God.  Tonight after we prayed he decided that he needs to tell these people about God. 

This is what he wants to say:

“One time a long time ago God made everything.  He talked about it and then there it was.  And he liked it all but people messed up and sinned.  He had to send Jesus.  Jesus did lots of things like catch fish and build stuff and even make some bread into lots of bread.  Then some people didn’t like him so they made him go to the cross.  They put a nail, then a nail, then a nail to hold him there.  Then they put a spiky crown on his head and spit at him.  He died.  I don’t know how he died.  He didn’t get shot.  But He died so that we don’t have sin.  I don’t know how that works.  Maybe like magic. He was dead for three days and then he rised up and walked around with His friends for weeks.  Maybe like two weeks.  Then he wented up to heaven to get a party ready for us.  And I prayed for Him to be in my heart because He loves me and I love Him.  And I don’t have to go to heaven right now, but after I am died.  And He likes you too and wants to be your friend so you should let Him.  Then we can play together forever.”

Amen!

Why I Do What I Do

I have begun to think a lot lately about what I do and why. In so many different senses. Why do we make the choices we make daily? Why do we home school? Why do we go against what everyone else is doing? Why do something when it is hard? The inevitable ‘Why me??’ And, ‘Why do I blog about it?’ I suppose I have been hit with all the "going wrong" that has been happening around here. Things break. People get sick. Children whine. Mothers cry. Dads get angry. Parents can begin to disagree. Money only goes so far. Tempers can flair. That is the way this fallen world works.
I was having a series of unfortunate events. I began to get into a rotten mood. When you are the mother, you are the heart of the home. Your feelings flow to those around you. You need to choose to use that for good and not turn to the dark side. So fitting, because those feelings and reactions are just that. The dark side of life. The underbelly. If you allow those thoughts to control you and lead your heart away from the truths that can be found in God, well, you ARE on your way to the dark side and you are taking your family along for the ride.

Then I began to ponder in my heart the whys of life. Not the bad why is this happening to us whys, but the whys that are deliberate, because there is a flip side to the why me coin. It says why not me. So instead of giving that coin a toss and focusing on all that negative, I began to ask different why me questions. Why are we following this path? Why are we blessed beyond measure? Why do we have less struggles than some?

It is a matter of perspective. Sure, things have been bombing around here lately, but everyday we are warm. Everyday we have clean water. Everyday we have food. We have each other. We have the love of God. What more is there?

And as for that whole why do I blog question, well, I have discovered it is for me. It has been an outlet for years. A way to connect, to reach outside of our home. And to view inside of others. But also, as I was beginning to get discouraged, it was my light, my way back to focusing on the important things in my own life. Seeing where we have come from. How God has provided so far on this journey. And I have begun to laugh at the struggles that seemed daunting, the challenges that the me of yesteryear have faced. And in my heart I looked at that girl and thought- Honey, you ain’t seen nothing yet!!